The Awkward Makeover

So it's been a long time since my last post. I really do apologize to all of you that have been anxiously checking my blog on a daily basis. For those of you who have fallen asleep beside your computer waiting for me to post up, I will pay for your damaged laptops because I know your excessive drool has seeped through to your battery. Anyway, I decided to let go of my dreams to make easy money from fake babydaddys and the such and to move forward with my life. I've found that my forte lies in all that is awkward. Which I will now discuss here.

Let's go ahead and cut straight to the chase: The Awkward Wallet.

So you're standing in line outside the club waiting to get in and it's getting a little cold. The line is pretty long and you're pretty bored so you figure this would be a good time to spit some game, duh. To warm up you cuddle up against the guy (or girl, either works) you're hollering at beside you in line. You start to playfight and shove each other around a bit because that's how you holler. However, everyone else around you is slightly annoyed but nobody really says anything. You fail to notice the man in front of you is also starting to get a little fed up because you keep lightly grazing his ass with your hand on accident.



So, things start to heat up now and you and your boo begin to really start shoving each other around because you're in your own little "my boo and me" world. And that's when it happens. He/she pushes you a little bit too hard and you fall into the irked man in front of you. The last thought you have before you realize you're crashing into this random man is "fuck these heels" because obviously this whole mess is all their fault. Anyway, while you're eating shit, you grab on to his pants so you don't completely hit the ground. Your hand instinctively latches on to his back pocket and keeps your drunken self from being completely demolished. Luckily, you did not awkwardly rip his pants off, but in the process of all this chaos, his wallet drops out of his pocket and on to the floor. It was your fault any of this mess happened so obviously you should pick up his wallet for him, right?



You straighten yourself out and carefully bend down to pick up his wallet while muttering something about your stupid heels. As you are about to pick it up your brain tells you to immediately stop because it is not a wallet, but your hand has already been launched towards the item on the floor and picks it up. As you get up you're not really sure whether to hand the man back his condom or not. Your boo immediately starts to inch away from the awkward situation and you notice it starts to get cold again. The man turns around and sees you holding up his goodies and isn't sure whether to grab it from your hands or not. The awkwardness spreads. You semifawkward-smile and motion the condom towards his hands. But naturally, he pretends it's not his (probably because HIS boo looks bewildered). You don't know what to do so you open your purse and quickly stash it inside. That was awkward.